off to sweden soon and some perspective

just realized that i have not blogged for nearly a mth! i'm not sure myself where this month of september has gone but it has been a rather busy month so far. for one, work in the lab has picked up considerably this month, with experiments to both plan and perform (so no more blogging at work. oops!)
the rugby world cup started at the beginning of september and will run thru to the end of october. i have to say i fell in love with rugby back in my ri and rj days (and it is disheartening to see we have fallen on the way side in schools' rugby). despite four years of not watching a rugby game and three years of watching american football, i have to say that i will pick rugby over nfl anytime. my reasons can fill up an entire column but the main reason is this: rugby is a sport played by 15 fit men who can both defend and attack while nfl is a game played by men who can only either defend or attack, with half of whom being unfit and obese men.
so the midweek wee hour telecast of rugby and champions league football matches have been forcing me to keep early nites. on weekends, i have been helping tutor my cousins for their psle and 'o' level exams in the coming mths.
oh. and there's the gis bowling competition that's happening tomorrow for which my team has been practising quite frequently for.
all these add up to a rather busy but enjoyable month of september. now for a preview of october:
1) more rugby world cup, champions league and epl = maximizing my starhub subscription
2) more experiments from a potential extra project (to make it a total of three projects i will be involved in)
3) trip to karolinska institutet for a holiday cum study trip!
4) the !@#$%^&* interview that will determine the next five years of my life
having always been in the 'top tier' of the education stratification all my life, i have always had nothing but good feelings and postitive things to say about the streaming and stratification system in singapore (let everyone progress at their own pace etc.). but the last two events on my oct checklist has given me some food for thought about this. missing the 'grade' by 0.0022 has dropped me into the lower tier of the stratification system that has required me to attend event 4. i never thot this will be such a big deal, at least not until i have gone thru event 4. but signing up for event 3 led to a caution that permission to go on event 3 did NOT constitute an offer. DUH! now i feel that i have been classified even before official confirmation which brings back thoughts i had a month ago about feeling appreciated that can be summed up in one line:
an email to my professors led to multiple replies offering help and support vs. missing by 0.0022 and being condemned to a lower strata
i rest my case. but i have to say the recent events in burma (myanmar) has provided some needed perspective (before i get all angsty again). my problem here seems small compared to the fight the burmese have out of oppression and for a freer way of life. 10 people (more according to some media reports) have been killed during the suppression of the revolt and this has really struck me. maybe it's because its happening in a place closer to home (instead of iraq or congo or other genocide hotspots). or perhaps it's because i'm already numb to the reports of deaths (especially in iraq) such that all i do when i see the headline is raise my eyebrow and flip the page.
time to catch and stop myself. england and tonga face off for a place in the knock-out stages in the rugby world cup at 3am and bowling starts at 10am.

顺其自然

now i've nv been a believer in these four words but i've given them more thought recently than ever before. i have always been a believer in 'how a person masters his fate is more important than what his fate is'. rather than leaving it to fate or 随缘, i would rather push forth and take the chance that comes by. regardless whether success comes along, the lessons learnt and experience gained beats pondering the 'what ifs' after the opportunity has passed. i've always applied this school of thought in all aspects of my life: school, work, play, relationships etc. better to try something and fail than not try it at all. after all we fall to learn how to better pick ourselves up.
but recent events have blurred the margins between these two seemingly opposing trains of thought. while the lessons learnt seem to point me towards full withdrawal from the open market for practical reasons, further thought has brought me to the title of this post for this aspect of my life.
i still stand by being proactive over being passive, and will advise others to do just that. but circumstance creates specific situations that can alter one's stand. i am just learning that now..